yoga, throughout my pregnancy

After teaching my very first yoga class I continued to teach for another year, until the birth of my daughter in June 2011. Throughout my pregnancy i practiced and taught weekly and soon began to develop and teach a pre-natal class of my own.

It was while I was pregnant that I deepened a softer approach to my practice.  I had always modified the poses but at this time began to introduce more gentle, rhythmic movements to the stretches so that each pose could be held less statically.  This suited perfectly the needs of pregnant women who require a longer warm up to prepare their bodies for movement. Warming up the spine and pelvic floor with rhythm and flow helps send energy throughout the body.  Less static stretching helps prevent problems caused by laxity in joints which occurs in conjunction with pregnancy.

I have learned as much knowledge through my own pregnancy experience as I have gained understanding from my Pre- and Post-Natal Pilates Specialist education.  Above all, the importance of allowing the pregnant body to relax into its own natural alignment and to not encourage pre or post-natal clients to achieve something unnatural to their bodies at this time. This approach helps to create the idea of the pregnant woman taking responsibility for how she feels rather than attempting to accommodate any alignment cues which may feel foreign to her changing body. While this applies to teaching in general, I became especially mindful of applying this to myself.

Vanita Iyenger, "Inner Beauty, Inner Light: Yoga for Pregnant Women".

To provide a little bit of background to my story, my pregnancy followed 4 years of continuing education in Pilates and Vinyasa Yoga wherein I practiced and taught movement daily alongside a dynamic personal repertoire including dance, cycling, running and swimming. I had already completed the first part of Gerard's Advanced Teacher Training Program immediately following 2 years of his initial Vinyasa Teacher Training Program.  I was practicing yoga in his studio, at home, anywhere and everywhere while traveling and I had begun teaching it too.  I continued to practice level 3 Vinyasa yoga with Gerard through to my 7th month of pregnancy and I was reading Inner Beauty, Inner Light: Yoga for Pregnant Women by Frederick Leboyer. The book features BKS Iyengar's daughter Vanita in her daily practice a few short days before she gave birth.  Leboyer shows, with his own photographs, Vanita in various poses including Sirsana, the headstand, while 9 months pregnant (shown above).

I was intrigued when i first saw the image.  Then, as my own pregnancy grew confidently and as I continued to practice dynamic movement daily, I became inspired.  Movement had played a pivotal role in my personal fulfillment before my pregnancy and it played a vital role throughout my pregnancy.  My personal practice kept me in a regular dialogue with my body in varying depths of 'samadhi' on a day to day basis.  For me, simply being pregnant lent itself towards a deepened state of connection between my mind and body.  Deepening this connection with my movement practices encouraged me to listen. Listening to my body initiated my journey towards a home birth which began when I was 6 months into term. I was inspired by the pictures taken of a friend of a friend, moments after giving birth, in her own home. The mother's face was radiant, the baby was calm.  I didn't know this person at all but we had one interest in common.  Yoga. We both practiced it and taught it.

At 7 and a half months into my pregnancy term, I decided that I would practice Sirsana myself if I felt the calling.   During an extended level 3 Vinyasa session with Gerard, almost an hour and a quarter into the session, my body was radiating with warmth from the sequence of poses and sun salutations.  It was time to practice the inverted poses. I felt strong and ready to explore my own ability.  And did not want to think about it much more.  I trusted how I felt and I prepared for the pose.  I practiced Sirsana.  I did not stay in the pose for a long time- long enough to find my balance, explore what was required to sustain my body weight, and to discover my new relationship with gravity.  I am not sure that I would describe my experience as samadhi and I know that I would not recommend the pose to an equally pregnant débutante.  But while I have no idea if i looked anywhere near as balanced and serene as Vanita does in the photo above, I do remember feeling it.  If I was a poser for a minute, I was poised for at least a second.

My homebirth experience was a whole new dimension of samadhi.  It was at once the most selfless and self-centered acts I have chosen to do in my life. And it is the richest gift I will ever bestow upon myself and my daughter. I chose to give birth in an environment that would give me the greatest possible chance of pursuing samadhi.  And it was with the feeling of being completely centered that i gave birth naturally to my healthy baby girl, at home. This still point was my gift to her, so that she may always have it as her point of reference for life and throughout life.

For 'except for the point, the still point, there would be no dance, and there is only the dance" - TS Eliot.

daily om: speaking of memoirs & journeys

Mapping the Inner Journey
Journaling as Meditation

Of the countless forms of meditation we can use, journaling offers its own unique benefits. Most meditations help empty the mind of concerns and bring positive ideas from our mental landscape, but journaling helps us anchor that experience in the material world. Not every person is attracted to meditating in seated silence, and journal meditation is a nice alternative as an active meditation. It allows us to trace our journey and see where we have grown and what lessons we may be repeating. By employing a different part of the brain than creative or inspired thought, writing or typing a journal can create a greater sense of connection and union with our physical selves and the world around us.

In working through challenges, it can be helpful to first empty all worries from our heads onto the safe pages of our journal. Fears can be brought to light rather than allowing them to haunt the dark corners of our subconscious. We may even feel heaviness dissipate once our heads are free from clutter, leaving space for inspiration and the creation of positive images in their place. Often in the process of writing out all the details of an event that troubles us, something that had been forgotten will come to the surface, providing a missing piece of the puzzle. Then we can truly begin to come up with answers, and write them down beside the worries to map the way from concern to constructive thought.

For capturing guidance and flashes of inspiration, journaling is ideal. This is especially true in the case of dreams, which often fade as we awaken. While working toward goals, keeping track of progress as well as guidance from readings or divination tools can be encouraging. Though it can be difficult to keep all of our guidance in the front of our minds, if we write it down it can serve as a reminder whenever we need it. We can also use our journals to converse with our higher selves or even the universe. Journaling offers yet another way to unburden mind and spirit, while also creating a record of the present and preserving our hopes and dreams for the future.